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idobelieveinfairies
Experienced user
Joined: 27 Feb 2008
Posts: 58
Location: Charlotte, North Carolina
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 Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2008 10:10 pm Post subject: My bother has died. I must be the stupidest person on earth |
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It is with great sadness that I write. My brother passed away Saturday,September 13th at 2:18. It was his birthday September 13, 1954. He was 54.
Something else I found when looking for pictures for his memorial. He was born at 2:13pm and died at 2:18pm.
It was the worst thing I have ever experienced and today I wish I could just crawl in a hole and die myself. I let him down. I can't eat, sleep or stop crying. The one day he needed me most and I was to stupid to realize what was happening. I was there when he died but did not do for him what I had promised which was call 911. I'll have to explain later. I just want to drown in my sorrow, my stupidity. How could anyone be as stupid as I. I will post the days events and the weeks before as I have made daily detailed notes that I feel may be important to others I just can't do it now. I feel absolutely worthless.
Last edited by idobelieveinfairies on Tue Sep 16, 2008 10:08 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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pbj11
Site Admin
Joined: 12 May 2007
Posts: 1398
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| Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2008 10:21 pm Post subject: Re: My bother has died. I must be the stupidest person on earth |
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Hugs to you and my deepest sympathy. So young.
I understand your feelings, but they will sort themselves out in time. Do the best you can right now to get through the upcoming days. None of us are infallible and most of us feel like we let our loved ones down at the end. It's human nature to feel that way.
May God grant you peace and hold you in his arms right now.
PBJ
_________________
Husband diagnosed with NSCLC Stage IV. (Non-Small Cell Lung Cancer) Fought & lived 2 1/2 years with multiple lines of treatment.
Post describing our battle: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=7026&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0 |
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Vee Smith
Moderator
Joined: 12 Feb 2006
Posts: 817
Location: UK
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| Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 5:03 am Post subject: Re: My bother has died. I must be the stupidest person on earth |
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My deepest condolences.
But do not punish yourself. HE is at peace. Nothing you did or do can now change anything, and all you can do is mourn for him. Mourn well but look forwards - life is still there. |
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rmaureen
Experienced user
Joined: 06 Oct 2005
Posts: 99
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| Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 6:42 am Post subject: Re: My bother has died. I must be the stupidest person on earth |
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I am so sorry about your brother, and just want you to know you are in my prayers. Please don't be so hard on yourself,
Rhonda |
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se7en
Regular
Joined: 22 Jul 2008
Posts: 19
Location: Vancouver, Canada
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| Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2008 7:43 pm Post subject: Re: My bother has died. I must be the stupidest person on earth |
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I'm sorry for your loss. Stay strong ... for yourself.
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I miss my mom. |
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dllfb
Regular
Joined: 24 Jul 2008
Posts: 42
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| Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2008 8:40 pm Post subject: so sorry |
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Dearest IDO...
My deapest sympathies to you and may God keep you in his loving care ...as you did for your dear brother during these last few months. Do not put your self down. You were an angel for your brother...you were there for him when nobody else was....he knows that. If only all those who are sick had someone like you who would put their own woes to the side and think of the other. You did all you could, I'm sure...if not more!!! Do not be hard on yourself. What happens, does so, for a reason. He was called to a better place. It was his time and nobody but ONE can stop that.....Now is not the time to put yourself down or blame yourself. Now is the time to look after YOU! Something you have put aside for a while.
Take care of yourself! God Bless! |
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karolynca
Experienced user
Joined: 13 May 2008
Posts: 51
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| Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 6:08 pm Post subject: Re: My bother has died. I must be the stupidest person on earth |
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My deepest sympathies to you...I hold you near my heart..please don't be so tough on yourself.
_________________
Dad ~ Passed away from Multiorgan failure due to secondary liver cancer on July 2008
http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=34365 |
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brainman
Chief Admin
Joined: 13 Oct 2005
Posts: 4427
Location: Tennessee
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| Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 1:14 am Post subject: Re: My bother has died. I must be the stupidest person on earth |
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Oh, idobelieveinfairies... my heart goes out to you during this painful time. I am so sorry about your brother's death. Hugs to you and your family.
_________________
Jim
Site Administrator and long-term cancer survivor
1992 Astrocytoma grade 2, left motor strip
2005 Recurrence this time said to be an Oligodendroglioma grade 3, same location.
My Story Part 1: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?p=7350
My Story Part 2: http://cancerforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=8029
Blog http://jimhawkinsport.blogspot.com/ |
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idobelieveinfairies
Experienced user
Joined: 27 Feb 2008
Posts: 58
Location: Charlotte, North Carolina
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| Posted: Fri Oct 10, 2008 9:24 am Post subject: Re: My bother has died. I must be the stupidest person on earth |
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I miss him so much.
Last edited by idobelieveinfairies on Mon Oct 13, 2008 6:21 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Vee Smith
Moderator
Joined: 12 Feb 2006
Posts: 817
Location: UK
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| Posted: Fri Oct 10, 2008 1:11 pm Post subject: Re: My bother has died. I must be the stupidest person on earth |
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We understand  |
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grammystish
New User
Joined: 28 Sep 2008
Posts: 8
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| Posted: Sat Oct 11, 2008 9:06 am Post subject: Re: My bother has died. I must be the stupidest person on earth |
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I am so so so very sorry to hear about your brother..my deepest sympathies...(((idobelieveinfaires))) Please don't beat yourself up with should of could of, why didn't I if I had only known...I was there last year this time when my father was on the fast track to peace from secondary liver cancer. I canceled a road trip cause I didn't have the gas money to drive 15 hours to see him. He died three months later Oct. 23 and his funeral was on my birthday the 26th...I have carried the guilt and beat myself up pretty bad for a long time, I still do but I have learned to bring myself back around, it takes time, time to heal...take care of yourself and give yourself a break, I think everyone wishes they had done things differently, I have learned it is all a part of it, part of the grieving..poor your heart out on paper, here or in a quiet room, let it out....let God hold you as you heal, its ok to let him hold you till you are strong enough to stand on your own..
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Grammy's Little Tish |
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transcendentsoul
New User
Joined: 08 Oct 2008
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 1:18 pm Post subject: Re: My bother has died. I must be the stupidest person on earth |
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| My deepest condolences for you and your family. Your brother's pain is gone, as he is with God now. |
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Glioblastoma
Regular
Joined: 20 Oct 2008
Posts: 18
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| Posted: Tue Oct 21, 2008 3:50 pm Post subject: Re: My bother has died. I must be the stupidest person on earth |
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| I am so sorry for your loss. Your brother is in a better place now |
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